But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
