That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize