Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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