just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
