I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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