As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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