so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
