soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
