Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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