writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
