that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
