How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
