3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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