no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
