I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
