I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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