all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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