if i can run in heels then i can drive
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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