Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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