Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
