about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
