My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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