he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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