Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
