haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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