i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
