Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it's like iHOP with fire
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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