The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
