I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
