Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
