i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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