i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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