Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
