My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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