I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
