So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We left the knife in your bed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize