Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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