The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
