During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't deserve a penis
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
