after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
