I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
