Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
