You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
