Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
