so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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