It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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