You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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