They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
