so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My ATM looks so different sober.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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