I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
