Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
