One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
