Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
