You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
