Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize