PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't put those talents on a resume
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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