You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
