And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
