I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize