I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
