D3 body, D1 cock
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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