Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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