My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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