I didn't shave. On purpose
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
